Sentiments thus far...

I'm going to take a quick break from the onslaught of Danny photos and footage to share my thoughts on early mommyhood.

I've felt extremely valued at every job I've ever held, from a sandwich artist at Subway at 14 years old to my latest role as Product Manager at Castle Branch. I've always received praise from my managers and been given raises/promotions. I've always taken a lot pride in my work. All that said, never have I felt so "irreplaceable" than in my role as Danny's mom. There is no doubt in my mind that I am the only woman for the job. He tells me (in his own way) countless times a day how much he appreciates me and points out "a job well done" by growing and developing week after week into such a bright and adorable little boy. It is so unbelievably rewarding. 

Babies are both so simple and so complex at the same time. They all eat, play, sleep and poop, right? Yes, but like their tiny little fingerprints, they're all otherwise unique. Sleep/feeding schedules and growth spurts and brain leaps, oh my! And don't forget about their young personalities/temperaments and the presence of early illnesses like acid reflux. You can read as many books as you want, search the Internet until you're blue in the face, ask fellow mommies about their experiences and/or ask your pediatrician and you'll only get to square 2 which is the realization that EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT.  There is no one-size-fits-all manual. There are far too many variables. In my opinion, early mommyhood is like a scavenger hunt. Or maybe it's a science experiment. Analogies aside, let's just say it can be so confusing and challenging at times, especially if you like to be in control as much as I do. I honestly believe my best bet is to live in the moment and just trust that Danny will give me the appropriate clues.
Confession: As I write this, I have multiple tabs open with Google searches like, "3 month old all of a sudden not sleeping through the night anymore." What did I uncover? It's likely the combination of a growth spurt and a brain leap and he'll go back to sleeping through the night when he's good and ready and not a second before. So there! I need to learn to take my advice.

It's hard to understand how I can simultaneously be both super excited about the boy Danny is becoming and so desperately want to cryogenically freeze him so I'll always have him as my baby?? I could get very sad if I let myself think about the fleeting time. Instead, I just try to savor every moment and remind myself that I'll get my baby fix again. Hopefully multiple times. Like I may never want to stop having kids. Sorry Jimmy!

That is all for now :)